the season of sabbatical

A new season has come to visit the farm.   I knew the visit was impending, but life kept me busy, and quite honestly, I was in denial about her coming.  I mean, who wants to stop and clean house when there are tomatoes to harvest, cucumbers to pickle, and seeds to dry.

And yet, she quietly slipped in the back door, ignoring the dirty dishes and unswept floors.  She settled in patiently on the couch and watched as a new phase in my life began after the launch of my daughter into her first year of college.

Hurrah–the gift of Time filled my heart with anticipation and excitement for all of the projects I could take on now.  I danced around my home giddy with delight–what creative activity would I begin first?!

Sabbatical smiled and waited.  “Honeymoon period,” she nodded knowingly. And she was right.

After a couple of weeks, I realized that I am tired.  I am spent.  I don’t want more, I want less.  I don’t want to lead, I want to follow.  I don’t want to just do; I long to just be.

And so, being a gracious host, I have invited Sabbatical to stay awhile.

When my daughter left, I didn’t grieve it as a loss.  This talented and independent child was confident about the next steps in her life.  Who wouldn’t celebrate with her?

I did, however, find myself learning new rhythms, “God rhythms” as my friend Teresa suggested, that have nudged my mind, body, and spirit to “just be” a little differently.  And so Sabbatical invited me to join her for awhile in a season of centering, simplicity, and rest.

I can’t take credit for the connection with Sabbatical. My spiritual director introduced me to her at our last meeting.  As I described what I longed for, Katie smiled and gently suggested, “What you are seeking is sabbatical.”  Like you (I imagine), questions spilled out of my mouth about the reality of sabbatical at this point in my life.  A college tuition, a house payment, a new professional position.  I certainly couldn’t afford to invite Sabbatical to hang out for three months–how would I get anything done?

But as the new God rhythms created opportunity for a gentler push-pull of life, I realized that Katie was right.  As I centered in prayer with the Spirit, I had an epiphany.  No one was going to “let me off the hook” and invite Sabbatical for a visit.  I would need to extend that invitation myself.

And so, while the world continues to move in its own rhythms of the day-to-day, Sabbatical and I are creating a new routine as seasonal friends.   While others may not understand it, (one friend proclaimed, “I thought that meant you got to check out of life for a few months. You’re still working!”) our relationship is one I hold in gratitude for this next period of my life.

 

 

 

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