As I squatted by the trellis yesterday to plant more sugar snap peas, I looked down at the boots I was wearing. I’ve had them for a couple of years now, so they are not so colorful anymore, but I fondly remembered that I’d written a couple of posts about them so I’m choosing to reblog one of them today.
I do not understand the mystery of grace — only that it meets us where we are and does not leave us where it found us. ~Anne Lamott
This weekend, I celebrate being cancer free for two years! The “story” is quite intricate, but just know, that it was God’s grace that I listened to my body and that my Ob-Gyn listened to me. If we hadn’t trusted our intuition, each other, or God, my life surely would have taken a different path.
As I have mentioned in other writings, cancer and surgery offered me many gifts–discovering the peace and hope friendship can offer, learning how to let others care for me so that I too could care for myself, and appreciating the importance of rest for body, mind and spirit. It was a time of learning to surrender, a skill that has not only served me well as a person of faith but also as a parent, farmer, gardener, and homesteader.
Recently, I had a young colleague look at me and say, “I don’t know how you can be so laid back about all of this” as we rushed around trying to finish a project within hours of the deadline. I looked at her and smiled, “Turning 40 and cancer will do that to you!” She looked at me inquisitively, and I replied, “I was like you several years ago. I appreciate where you’re coming from, but hitting middle age the same year I was diagnosed rearranged a few of my priorities.” I can’t say that she understood, but I will note that it was a great affirmation for me to hear those words come out of my mouth.
And so, on my anniversary each year, I have bought a little trinket to remind me of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown since the new journey I started in March 2010. This year, I delighted in purchasing pair of floral gardening boots for tromping around the farm and in the compost pile. Gardening was a saving grace for me the spring I was diagnosed and couldn’t be as active as I’d wanted. My new boots remind me how therapeutic and nurturing creation and the Creator were for me during that time. They took me where I was in my journey and changed my life in such a way that I am more fulfilled and at peace. That’s what I have come to call “grace.”