Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves. . .
Don’t search for the answers,
they could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.
And the point is, to live everything.
Live the questions now.
Perhaps then, someday in the future,
you will gradually, without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer
~Ranier Maria Rilke
As I surveyed the farm last night, I felt a bit disappointed. Between mold spores and insects, fungus and hens, my vegetables have really taken a toll this year. I knelt down to lift the butternut squash vine. What had 4 small elfin bodies on it in the morning now had brown mush dangling from the vines. Would I be able to harvest anything other than a handful of sun drying tomatoes this summer? Was I missing something? Was there more I could do? Is it worth it getting my hopes up for a fall crop when summer’s has been devastated?
I know that there will be seasons of tomato blight and runaway hens, and those will make me question if my actions and time were even worth the effort. But seasons change. I know in my heart, Autumn will knock on my door and bring with her new opportunities for growth. What I question now will dissipate, but I will tuck away the answers and hindsight with seed packets for next summer’s planting.